


Under the Asgardian Sun

by andmilestogobeforeyousleep



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andmilestogobeforeyousleep/pseuds/andmilestogobeforeyousleep
Summary: The Old Girl takes the grieving Doctor for a detour before he regenerates.





	Under the Asgardian Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-d. All mistakes are mine. Comments are welcome. Please be gentle.

After everything, after dropping off Donna and preparing her family about what happened to her, after everything that happened with the Master and the end of time, the Doctor finds himself pondering upon this life of his. He can feel the end coming. It is closer than he wants to admit. And so fidgets around the console choosing a safe time and place for his regeneration. He doesn’t want to go but when does, he knows it must not happen inside his ship. He sets the coordinates to Barcelona in the 24th century and the Old Girl enters the time vortex. The ships comes to a sudden jolt and the Doctor thinks this must be it. The perfect place for a goodbye.

He snaps his fingers expecting to see a field of wildflowers, just past the wood of a quiet town. Instead he is greeted by a quiet afternoon and a certain view. He is surprised to see her, to say the very least. She is sitting on a table for two at a quaint shop gods know where. He runs to the console to check where the Old Girl has taken him this time. Valhalla, Asgard 67th century. There is a pain clawing its way in between his hearts. She mentioned a picnic at Asgard when he first met her, when she…died saving him and thousands of others.

“No! No! I don’t want this! I don’t want to do this. Let me out of here, Old Girl…”

The Old Girl hums a disagreement. “Bring me anywhere, to anyone just not here, not to her.” He puts his face into his hands, frustrated. A knock comes through the TARDIS doors. A key jiggles in the lock and River strides into the console room, like a Norse goddess. “I wasn’t expecting you so early.”

She makes her way to him but stops in her tracks when their eyes meet.   

‘’I’m sorry,” the Doctor says.                                                         

“What for, sweetie?” She smiles at him like he’s her own miracle. “It’s alright that you’re late, you often are. I can wait. I’m quite patient.”

His chest aches for this beautiful woman, so clueless about her fate. “Where are we now?” The Doctor manages to blurt out.

“Oh you know, after the planet Barcelona that was proper fun. I didn’t thank you the last time.”

He knows why he’s here. The picnic. He must take her to Valhalla.

“All right then, care for a picnic at the mountain tops of Valhalla?” The pain blossoming in his hearts intensifies but he reminds himself that this is for her. If this is penance, he is going to take it.

 

After scouring the TARDIS kitchen which was magically stocked up since he last checked, half an hour ago, he had procured enough food, a blanket, some books, and a picnic basket. When he walks into the console room, River is touching the walls of the TARDIS and seems to be laughing as the Old Girl hums beneath her palms.

“Everything alright?” the Doctor asks.

River nods. “She just says she’s missed me.”

“You can talk to my ship?”

“Yes, somehow.”

After some tense moments as the Doctor ponders upon this new information, he clears his throat and says, “Right then, ready to hike, Professor Song?” He offers her his arm.

River takes it, smiling all the while.

 

The Doctor can sense something’s wrong as soon as they get settled upon the infamous gardens of Valhalla. She is sitting on one end of the blanket and he, on the other.  It is overcast today, he thinks, can she control the weather too?

“Nonsense,” she counters while nibbling on a sandwich.

“What, you can hear my thoughts?”

“No, I can’t, but you’re thinking very loudly. I can hear you thinking from where I am so I figured you’re fixating upon some nonsensical thing again. Turns out I was right,” she smirks at him, a challenge.

The Doctor shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s not that,” he explains.

There is a silence that falls upon them. The Doctor is deciding whether to ask her about what’s bothering her. River seems to be engrossed in one of the books that he found. A crime novel from the 21st century, figures, he thinks.

“River, are you alright?” He decides that if he’s going to do this, he might as well ask.

“Yes, Doctor. Why do you ask?” She smiles but it is wistful.

“It’s just…it’s…your face…” He seems to be out of words to describe how his chest is threatening to cave in at the sight of some semblance of melancholy upon her face.

“Something’s on my face, Doctor?”

“No, River. There’s a look in your face.”

“What look?”

“A look that’s seems like you’re being haunted every moment you look at me.”

There is a moment of pregnant stillness.

“I know you have no idea what I was talking about back at the TARDIS. How you’re late, or planet Barcelona…you were even surprised that the Old Girl talks to me…The look on your eyes when you saw me…”

He flinches at the memory.

“It must be early days for you. Very early days. You have no idea who I am.”

“River, I know you,” the Doctor protests, lifting a hand to her cheek. He is reminded how she touched his back at the Library. He starts to mourn the oncoming surge of memories.

 “You know me, Doctor, but not well enough. You’ve told me about this time of your life. You’ve just lost Donna and just experienced everything to do with the Master. You are hurting, Doctor, and you can’t be alone.”

“It sounds like you’re making me leave.”

“No, Doctor, you can’t be alone. So I’ll stay with you until you have to go. I can fly the TARDIS somewhere safe to regenerate afterwards.”

“I don’t want to go, River,” he feels tears sting his eyes, threatening to fall.

“I know,” she whispers touching his hand, setting away the space between them.

He meets her eye to eye, “River, tell me, who are you? Who are you to me?”

She sighs, looking away.

“You know that’s spoilers, sweetie.”

“Your secrets have secrets, too.”

“That they do.”

“River, grant a hurting, dying man’s wish. You can communicate with my ship, you can fly her too. You know me so well, maybe even better than I know myself. You seem to be an integral part of my future. I need to know who you are,” the Doctor’s cheeks are wet with tears. He clings to her, “River, I need to know.”

There are also tears stinging her eyes as she ponders for moments, looking away. She is still holding his hand, both their trembling hands clasped between them. The Doctor can see how much this is hurting her.

She wipes his tears with her other hand, cradling his cheek. “Doctor, I am not one of your demons, or the voices in your head. I am not inescapable. I am not an inevitability of your future. You are in so much pain now. Time can be rewritten. You don’t know it yet but one day you will say there is always a choice, a chance. When the time of my reckoning comes, you will need to choose. That choice will be yours alone. And after all you’ve been through, when the time comes, and you don’t choose me, that will be okay.”

The sound of his heart beats are drowned out by his soft cries. I’m doing it again, he thinks, hurting someone important to me and mucking it up before it even begins. She draws her close to him, embracing her trembling form, their foreheads together. The Doctor thinks about this woman, who will one day lay down her life to save his. She is fearless, and fierce, and now, as he has discovered, selfless. He means a great deal to her, not only in the future but now. She is willing to sacrifice her past for him to hurt no more.

It’s at this moment that he decides. He kisses each of her closed eyelids. She gasps at the surprise of the sensation. “River, I choose you.” He leans in and kisses her chastely. Once more and her taste starts to linger on his tongue. She pulls away, taking a breath.

“No, Doctor, you have been through enough.”

“River, I choose you. I will choose you again and again. Donna was right, the universe has given you to me and I am not letting you go.” The Doctor kisses her again, an act of persuasion.

They pull away to breathe. “Doctor, we can’t do this. I can sense—I can feel it, the time streams, changing.”

“Let it, River. Let it.”

The Asgardian sun started to descend, over and upon them as they held each other into darkness falling.

 


End file.
